don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
