you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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