So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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