Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
