just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize