i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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