So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
