real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
