So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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