In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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