Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
