My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
A+ Viking dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
