So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
