I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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