Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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