BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
