Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
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I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We have started to decorate penises.
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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