ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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