I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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