The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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