So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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