you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
