honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
