NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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