I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize