i used baking grease as lip gloss
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BRING THE BAGELS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
