She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
