I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
