why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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