Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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