I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
