my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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