If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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