so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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