I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
either way he was missing a nipple.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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