Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I puked a lego.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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