I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
