all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
