Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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