This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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