Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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