I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
