What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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