Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
