So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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