The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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