i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
