billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My life is pants optional.
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