Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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