More tranny stories later!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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