You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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