Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
