Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
