I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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