White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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