i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Send help, water and tortillas.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
