how can u be prego again
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
