drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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