We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
