Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
