We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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