dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
