PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
